'Bully' is a documentary on the bullying in our schools. A film crew followed around a handful of school age students for an entire school year, documenting their experiences with bullying and interviewing their parents and school faulty on the subject.
This film was incredibly hard to watch. But it is one that I wish they would show to all 6th grade and up classes. Every parent and educator should see this film as well. It is truly an eye-opener!
You can view the film on Netflix, Amazon, YouTube and other sites.
There is also a website dedicated to the desire to end bullying. http://www.thebullyproject.com/
You can sign up for free and pledge to help end bullying! I did!
Here's the trailer for the movie:
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My reaction to the film - I took notes throughout it. A lot of these might not make sense unless you have seen the movie...
Oklahoma - Kelby. She was a cutter, and attempted suicide 3 times due to bullying because she is gay. I bet (hope) this school has changed a lot since this movie.
Kelby has a philosophy about the rain: "You know what my philosophy about rain is? You know when people can’t hold it anymore, they cry? The world is taking so much in, it can’t hold anymore. That’s why it rains. Because it’s letting go.”
Kelby wanted to stand up, not run and be the one that made the change. When she returned the next year to school everyone shunned her. She and her family decided then that it was time to move.
"It took me a while to realize that you can't change it all at once. It's going to take multiple people, at separate stage's of people's lives, talking and making a difference. It's not just gonna take me." - Kelby.
Kelby went on to petition to have the rating of the movie changed from R to PG-13 so that it could be shown at schools across the nation.
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Murray High School - Ty Long. He hung himself after being constantly bullied.
Found some interesting info on the back-story of Ty here: http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/bulle/2012/03/bully_documentary_lee_hirsch_s_film_dangerously_oversimplifies_the_connection_between_bullying_and_suicide_.html
Vickie Reed, the school superintendent was giving a statement on "if the school was a 'haven' for bullies", her response "...is it a major overarching concern in our high school? No, it is not." I found this interesting because when she said "no, it is not" she was actually nodding her head up and down! Body language tells a LOT.
At a town hall meeting, Jeff Johnson asks, "If bartenders are responsible for a drunk that goes out and kills an innocent person, how come the bullies are not responsible for the death of this precious child?"
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Alex:
"How was your day?" -Alex's mom.
"Good, no one did anything to me today..." - Alex
"This high schooler was strangling me, but I think he was just messing around." -Alex
Alex's sister picks on him a LOT and his parents do nothing. They place a lot on his shoulders but don't seem to really help him.
After seeing some really bad things happen on Alex's bus ride home one day, the film crew decided to intervene and show the footage to Alex's parents and school staff.
One thing I didn't understand was why the bus driver just let it continue. The footage shows her looking up and seeing it all happen and she does nothing! Say something! Pull over! Call some parents! Be the Adult! It was SOOO frustrating!!
Alex's parents go into the school to talk to the principal. The Principal's solution was to move Alex to another bus.
"I've been on that route... They are just good as gold..." - Principal. (Of COURSE they are! The darn principal is on the bus! Duh, they are going to behave with that kind of authority figure on there!) At this point the principal pulls out photos of her own grand kids and starts to make it about HER.
"It seems to me that if it's a few kids the, you take away the few kids." - Alex's mom.
"You'll just have to trust me that we'll take care of that other child... I'm sorry about this, but we will take care of it." - Principal
"What did she say when we were leaving, 'we'll take care of it'? I'm pretty sure that's what she said in the fall. She politicianed us! She's not going to do anything." - Alex's mom.
Alex is brought into the assistant Principal's office after his parents came to see the school:
"How do you know that I haven't done anything? Did he do that again after I talked to him? I did talk to him, and he didn't do that again, did he?" -assistant principal."No but he has done other things since then..." -Alex
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Ja'meya: Was bullied and one day she snapped & brought her mom's gun on the school bus. She was charged with 22 counts of kidnappings and 22 counts of aggravated assault. 44 counts against her. 2 years in Psych ward, charges were dropped.
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Ty Field, Oklahoma: shot himself.
On the way to funeral service you hear his father tell his mother, "You can do it. I don't want to, either. You're right here, you're in my arms. We'll tuck him in one more time. Put him to bed. Tuck the baby in one more time..." Heart-wrenching.
One of Ty's best friends was a pal bearer.
"We're just a couple of simple people. You know, we're nobodies. I guarantee you if some politicians kid did this because he was getting picked on in a public school, you know, there'd would be a law tomorrow. There'd be changes made tomorrow. You know? We're nobody. But we love each other and we loved our son." Ty's dad.
Stand For The Silent - Tyler's family started this movement. They go and speak at events/schools about the effects of bullying and how to stop it.
"I will fight bullying forever because my son will be 11 years old FOREVER." Tyler's dad.
A short documentary for Ty Smalley and the Stand for the Silent organization:
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I was bullied as a kid. I was called names and made fun of a LOT because I was heavier than them and poorer than them and just plain "different".
I was bullied by my PSYCHOLOGIST. I was 9, 10, 11, 12 years old. I was made to clean her office, bathroom, dog and whatever else she wanted me to when she didn't feel like 'counseling' me. My parents were divorced and she made my dad feel like it was "ok to do" because of financial/payment issues. It went on for a few years before I finally told my dad I didn't want to go there anymore.
Bullying need not be the 'epidemic' that it has become. I talk to my kids on a regular basis to find out how they are doing/ being treated in school and how they are treating others. My oldest son is special needs and I know how cruel kids can be.
Parents need to talk to their children so that their children know that they can talk to them and other adults. Educators and the like need to be educated in the signs and symptoms of depression and bullying.
Be aware of your surroundings and stand-up for the people around you!
Be the difference!
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